Discovering Fanfiction: Naruto Style
by Kishoto
Summary: When a mysterious character from 500 years into the future comes to tell Naruto about how people write about him, what will Naruto think about the future's respect for him?


Bored. Wrote it. Nuff said. Oh, by the way, this is a one shot with probably huge ass holes in it so no matter how much people beg or review or whatever that's all it will ever be, a ONE SHOT.

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Discovering Fanfiction, Naruto style

Naruto stared down at the curious thing before him. It was about the size of a textbook and a half inch slim. It was white with a strange icon on top of it. It opened up into two halves showing a screen and keys.

"What the hell is this?" said Naruto to the strange man before him. The man was about 6 foot 5 and had spiky red hair. He had green eyes and wore a blue full body cloak. A black T-shirt could be seen peeking out of it and he wore black pants with sneakers. He had a large buster sword on his back. The man grinned.

"Well this is a device called a computer from, oh say...500 years in the future. Your world has been made into a anime for young kids and people write something called fanfiction because you were so popular. I just wanted you to...sample some of the future's...finest...works." At this point the man was grinning from ear to ear and he said "Gimme a sec and I'll pull up some." The man tapped a few keys and clicked a few times and a window came up. "Here, read this."

"Fine but this better be good, Kishoto." said Naruto. Kishoto grinned and said "Oh don't worry."

Naruto read this and his face went from confused to grinning to laughing and to proud smirking.

"Oh yeah! In the future, people write stories about how kickass I am and how I create my own jutsus and stuff." said Naruto with a smile. Kishoto smiled more and said

"Well...sort of. You see that was a story _**Legacy of the Rasengan by: Tellemicus Sundance**_ one of the few stories that are actually worth much out there. Here's another one." Kishoto pulled up another file and Naruto read it. His face went from shocked to gaping to horrified and then happiness mixed with trepadition..

"So people mostly write about how I'm a psychopathic killer out to conquer the world due to the last words of Hokage-jisan. Well it's pretty good and I am still kickass so I don't see much of a problem with it." said the blonde haired shinobi.

"Well that was another one of the few well written stories. It was _**Lost Soul by: LD 1449.**_ Now time to show you another section."

Changing the window from Kishoto's favorite stories to the default Naruto fanfiction archive, he clicked a few things, adjusting the filters to put Naruto U. and Tsunade, complete and, with a hidden devious grin M rated, he opened up a window. He scrolled down and clicked the # 2 fanfiction and, with a smile, he handed the laptop back to Naruto and said

"Here read this and, oh, you might need these." he said, handing him some rubber plugs. "For your nose." Naruto shrugged and stuffed them into his nose. He looked comical breathing loudly through his mouth on account of the plugs. He squinted at the title

"_**April Fools Pleasure by Azndrifter25**_? What's this?" he asked. Kishoto shrugged mildly.

"Oh something completely innocent and not involving perverted things between you and a 50-but-looks-like-20 year old hokage." said Kishoto innocently. Naruto, being the moron we all know and love from the real anime, just read it. His face shifted from confused to horrified to full out shock and then blank. He passed out and the plastic noseplugs in his nose almost burst from his nose and red could be seen building in it. Finally the pressure was too much and they shot out, pinging around the house like bullets. Kishoto watched them fly and leaned his neck to the side, dodging one.

"Damn and here I thought that only happened in cartoons like Bugs Bunny." mused Kishoto. Finally they both bounced and broke through the window and a small thunk was heard.

A cry of "Dammit! Who was the idiot throwing bloody noseplugs around!" came in a incensed, feminine voice. Kishoto heard her looking around and estimated it would be about 15 minutes finding the source, the broken window, and another 15 minutes getting to it and yet another 10 minutes picking at the lock. So all in all Kishoto had 40 minutes left, just enough time to give Naruto a dose of the worst type of fanfiction of all. Kishoto roused Naruto who angrily looked at Kishoto.

"I hate you future people." said Naruto. "I would never do something like that with Tsunade-baachan. And when I show her this she will..." Kishoto cut him off

"Uh-uh Naruto. Or else I'll show her this." said Kishoto. He held out a tape recorder and played it. " I **love **you future people...I would **definitely **do something like that **extremely perverted fanfiction with me taking her doggy style **with Tsunade baa-chan." The regular bits were Naruto speaking while the bold bits were obviously someone else's bad voice over. Naruto snarled and said.

"I never said I loveyou future people...I would definitelydo something like that extremely perverted fanfiction with me taking her doggy stylewith Tsunade baa-chan." shouted Naruto. Kishot shook his head and frowned but smiled at the same time.

"I'm both happy that you fell into my trap yet disturbed you fell for a trick used on a 7 yr old's TV show." said Kishoto, pulling out a second recorder. He pressed play and this time the message came through again, all of it being Naruto's voice. His face turned from red in anger to pale in fear to red in anger again.

"I never said that for real!" shouted Naruto.

"Sure you didn't but, hey, with this recorder and no witnesses the evidence is against you, case adjourned. Ruled in favor of Kishoto. Defendant is forced to pay charges." said Kishoto with a grin. Naruto grew confused.

"What?" Kishoto sighed and shook his head.

"If only people understood good law suit jokes in this time." he muttered. "Anyway, just read this last story and then I'll be gone. But I must warn you. It is one so terrible and mind consuming it could tear the very fabric of your mind apart, leaving you nothing but a living corpse...forever...well actually for about 80 years until you die or are killed in battle but that's beside the point. Just read it." Quickly clicking, Kishoto set the Tsunade character filter to Sasuke U. and clicked Go. He clicked the first one there because of the low amount of time left and practically shoved the laptop into Naruto's hands. "Here read this." Kishoto practically hissed. In his mind the clock was down to about 20 minutes.

"This better not be a story with more sex with some other girl I would never go for." said Naruto with a glare to Kishoto. Kishoto took the time to smile broadly and he said

"You don't have to worry Naruto-kun, _**Dedicated to YOU by: vokadisen**_ is definitely not a quote "a story with more sex with some other girl you would never go for" end quote." said Kishoto with a dark smirk.

Naruto, missing the insinuation, read it and his face instantly went to horrified then green and sickly. He ran to his other window (seeing as the first one was broken) and retched, spilling his stomach's contents on the ground below. A splat was heard this time and a "Oh, some dumb shit is going to freaking pay for puking on my back pack!!!" came through the window. Kishoto's face went pale as he heard more running and his clocktime went from 8 minutes to 2 minutes. Quickly he gathered up his laptop, closed the windows, put back up the pop up blocker and + 18 and XXX filters, erased the search history,you know, he did the standard procedure when you have 2 devoutly Christian yet stern and overbearing parents who feel you deserve no privacy and come in at all times of the day to see what you're doing. He put it in the case and slung the case over his shoulder. His skin shifted to dark brown, his clothes changed to a black T-shirt that said "No Fear!", jeans and sneakers, his hair came down to short cut, almost bald, hair, he lost a foot in height and glasses appeared on his now angular face.

He heard the door lock moving around and wiggling with the force of the girl's shoving and his face paled more. Despite being a practically omnipotent being here, he had no power over the wrath of a woman, even a fictional anime-created woman. He looked at Naruto who had stopped retching out his window and he glared at him through bloodshot eyes and struggled his pale face into forming words.

"Future bastards. I'm not gay and I would never let Sasuke or any one male do that to me." he said as best he could, glaring with hatred at the now 5 foot 3 Kishoto. Kishoto chuckled and opened up his laptop and the fanfiction window. He put Naruto U. and Sasuke U., M rating and Status: All in the filters. He clicked Go and snickered.

"That's not what these 2500 M rated Naruto + Sasuke forever stories say." said Kishoto with a smile. (Oh for the record when I put those filters in 2808 came up but I took off some on account of I'm sure there are friendship fics and stuff where they are just the main characters) Naruto's eyes widened and he lunged at Kishoto but passed right through the fading black man. "Anyway I'm leaving you to deal with an enraged kunoichi, bye!" By the end of the sentence nothing was left of the boy but a small slip of paper. Naruto picked it up and read it.

"What the hell? What do these numbers mean? 3 dotdotdot 2 dotdotdot 1 dotdotdot" Then Naruto's door flew off the hinges crashing into the wall. A certain pink haired ninja came in, clutching a backpack oozing with some weird green-yellow stuff and having two nose plugs jammed and tangled in her hair, and she glared with godly anger at the orange clad shinobi who's eyes widened to saucers and he curled up in the corner, looking on in fear. "Sakura chan...I can explain..."

"Sorry Naruto but I have her being so rash in anger she won't give you time." said a mysterious voice from above, who was ignored by Sakura who was practically radiating murderous chakra.

"Bastard." said Naruto weakly as he glanced at the ceiling but then at Sakura when she said "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!!!"

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A young nurse walked into a hospital room with a clipboard and said

"Well Uzumaki-san it appears your bones and organs are on their way to recovery, along with your genitalia. But, we are curious, how did you say you got those again?"

Naruto lay in the hospital bed, hooked up to a heart moniter and an IV tube, and having bandages on 85 of his body said

"Well you see this..." A glare from his teammate in the room made Naruto gulp. "I...fell...down the stairs." he said. The nurse nodded.

"Ok then. You will be issued a wheelchair and released in a few days while your files are processed." said the nurse leaving the room.

"It's gonna be a long three days." said Naruto, glaring at the ceiling where, if you listened, chuckling could be heard.

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Well I was bored and read something in the Zelda section that gave me this idea. The one over there though is vastly different then this one though and all those titles in **bold, **_italics _and underlines are real stories so thanks to the authors of them who unwittingly made this fanfiction possible and if there's anyone reading this that is a friend of one of the authors or is the author themselves don't think of it as me using your/their work for myself thing of it as...free advertising, ok...so please don't report me.


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